....Episod 181..... - words of wisdom -

When im tired with the 'problematic people' around me i would remind myself with what i have said to one of my good friend :

" Psst ... kengkadang kan, orang susah nak paham kt , kt pun macam tu . 'Amar ma'ruf nahi mungkar ni tak semudah yang kt sangka . Anggap apa yang terjadi tu satu permulaan . Satu hari nanti bila kita jadi da'ie , tak semua mad'u kita akan terima kt . Apa kata sekarang ni ko uzlah dulu , fikirkan cara dan pendekatan terbaik . Yang penting , a good friend will not stop giving advices ok? :), Tapi make sure kena sesuai "

When i feel like giving up halfway , i would remind myself with the conversation i had with a senior thru emails ( with the subject, may your words be my strength ):

" Kak , this is fathiah , 1st year of lughah faculty of al azhar , kak ive been reading ur post even before i reached egypt . Kak i just get to know tht i have to repeat my first year and i feel so blessed with the news . I have always look up to you as my role model in this faculty . Your strength i believe is amazing . Many did not believe that i did not make it for my first year . Personally, i dont find this a problem at all . Allah just wanted to test my love for lughah and tests from Allah will just make me stronger i know . But kak , people's expectations and hopes can be very pressurising at times. To keep my cool is a challenge whenever im asked about my result. Kak , if you could share some words tht could make me feel more blessed , it would be one of the best gift from a senior to a junior . Thanks alot kak , jazakillah."

Her reply to my request .. is the answer to all the question marks tht i have in mind ~ :

"My dear sister , may Allah protect u , increaseu in knowledge, blessings n nuur , ameen . I made a visit to your blog last night after reading ur email ,believeme when i say that u do not need any words from me . u r urself a strong one , subhanallah . u knew the reason u chose the faculty . u knew the reason u seek knowledge .

Fathiah , pengalaman yg akak timba waktu belajar di mesir terlalu banyak . Yang pahit melebihi yang manis . Tapi masya Allah subhanallah , di hujung pengajian Allah beri akak sesuatu yang paling istimewa . Saat2 akhir akak di mesir merupakan saat yang penuh dengan tangisan demi tangisan . It was only during my final year in al-azhar that i saw the wisdom in every single thing Allah had put me into . everything. i began to strongly believe in Allah's miracles .He wants the best out of us . THE BEST .not the usual good things but the BEST. but before we reap any of the best , Allah has to put us through millions of tests and challenges . not any simple test but huge ones .

So u see my dear , it is not about people , never about them . It is about us and Allah . He wants us to make strong connections with HIM and not with people .He wants the Best out of us . That is the only reason we r going thru whatever we r facing now . He knows that u r having trouble with peoples expectations . He knows that u wrote to me and now i am writing back to u. He knows the step u will be taking next . He knows u will be able to overcome all of it .

So, march on!my sister . move ahead! When people start asking alot , u have to smileand continue smiling and remember Allah is watching u . Y do we have to care about what others say if whatever we r facing now is what andhow Allah wants it to be ?

Allah is getting rid of our ego through making us fail the exams . Allah is trying to make us enter the process ofbeing tawadhu' . the more we fail..the more we lose our ego .. betul tk? soo it is a good thing afterall! ..

So now smile... Allah is watching u n watching us .