Thursday, May 7, 2009

....Episod 153.... - A confession -

( dont ask me y i choose this gambar )

" Jika kegagalan selama ini adalah kaffarah dosaku yang lampau , cukuplah sekadar ini ya Allah ... " A friends' display message in yahoo messenger make me realise how strong a person can be when faced with challenges that Allah has given him/her . I keep thinking how i first felt when i knew that i failed 5 subjects . Who to blame ? what to blame ? am i wrong in any way ? how much sins have i done to deserve this .. ? or... is this some kind of blessings that im ignorant of ? I dont know . People keep saying that im strong . y ? coz i did not show any signs of depression . and im like..what?! .. showing signs of depression or maybe crying out loud ,is that some kind of tradition i have to follow ??! hmmph Whatever ..

If i say that im more than happy when i get my results , then im definitely a liar la kan . How can i not feel sad . Of course la sedih . After years of getting high marks and good grades . and after ages of being on top ... finally ... Allah put me down so that i could feel the ups and downs of life n the part n parcel of nature . He has indeed put down my alter ego . Well , i have only myself to blame la actually . A sister once told me this ... do not blame ur biah , blame urself instead for what had happened . I agree .

Being what i am now , is indeed a blessing . I have always wonder how it feels to be ungraded . I can never imagined that happening to me thulad dirasah in singapore . I even wonder , how come i can get good grades when i spent only a few hours of studying on a particular subject.. last minute plak tu .. Yes , i admit , my 100% focus in class is one of the reason la but hey , ramai yg focus but still they struggled to get high marks . After experiencing failure all by myself , i was amused by my own stupidity . How can i not highlight the one and only Creator everytime i excelled in anything i do . Indeed this is really a blessing .

Failure makes us wiser . Siapa2 tak agree can raise up ur hand and ask questions k :p . Failing in any way and in any situations be it in grades or in life generally - is a painstaking process nobody would want to be involved with . Consoling a friend who gets ungraded , i was once a sympathetic listener .. but now that sympathy has turned into empathy . Sebelum sesiapa ask me further the differences between sympathy and empathy let me give u a brief intro on both of them hehe :D

" Sympathy essentially implies a feeling of recognition of another's suffering while empathy is actually sharing another's suffering, if only briefly.
Empathy is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes".

Empathy develops into an unspoken understanding and mutual decision making that is unquestioned, and forms the basis of tribal community.
Sympathy may be positive or negative, in the sense that it attracts a perceived quality to a perceived self identity, or it gives love and assistance to the unfortunate and needy.

One feels empathy when one has "been there" and sympathy when one hasn't.

So , whenever i heard anybody cursing themselves for their failure , my " words of wisdom " ( huahua perasan ) are usually being taken more seriously than before , mana taknya , bak kata kak rai selalu .. ' been there , done that ' huhu .

Bersambung .... a confession takes more than a lifetime tau to make it a story ~ ..ngee~